Years ago I lived in a two-bedroom apartment with my boyfriend at the time, and initially we shared the office, back-to-back, each working away at our computers.
Dress to impress with these six foolproof strategies for making your outfit as polished as your résumé.
As unique as we all are, an awful lot of us want the same things.
After being betrayed, most of us want two things, usually at the same time.
I was six years old when I found out the guy on the dime wasn't my father. (Turned out it was Franklin D. Roosevelt, whoever the hell he was.) I knew he couldn't be as impressive as my dad, who was so big (5'7", 130 pounds soaking wet), so smart (he did have an off-the-charts IQ, but he also frequently lost the family car), and so rich (a college professor with eight kids, he never stopped worrying about money).
updated: Fri Jun 15 2012 07:22:00
Men are changing TV ads and shows by fighting against the stereotype of "doofus dads." Josh Levs reports.
I don't believe in casual sex. It's not that I'm opposed to it exactly, it's just that -- in my own experience -- no such thing exists.
Our friends Andrea and Harlan are sitting around the kitchen table with us. It's 9 p.m., and we've pulled out a bottle of Pinot Noir even though we're all bleary eyed. Their son is konked out in our living room and ours is asleep in his bedroom. The day began around 6 a.m. and neither boy has napped, which has made for a very long haul of playing, arguing, pushing, pulling and then, finally, in desperation, some animated Richard Scarry on the TV.
I'm almost 60, and not a sylph. I have injury-prone feet, a thickish middle I camouflage with a sweater around my hips (my teachers, who have X-ray vision, still remind me to pull in my stomach), and a brain that often can't keep up with the combinations of steps I'm handed.
1. Don't Turn an Excuse into an Identity
My mother was born Ida Picarazzi in Strangolagalli, Italy, a town whose name roughly translates as "strangle the rooster," and if you were to meet my mother, you'd think: "Of course that's where she's from." An observer could tell from a low-flying aircraft that my mother comes from what used to be called hearty peasant stock, and when it comes to both the social niceties and interacting with her family, Ida has always had the touch of a blacksmith.
For as long as I've been alive, my parents have hosted the first night's Passover seder.
1. There's always someone better than you.
1. "So, who liked the book and who didn't?"
Save the heavy stuff for later: Keeping skin hydrated is key (especially when you're in the air), but slathering on your heaviest cream can leave your face looking oily. Try a gel-based moisturizer (celebrity makeup artist Daniel Martin likes aloe vera gel) that absorbs and dries quickly.
My whole life I've been an over-giver. My general operating policy has always been, "If it belongs to me, don't worry: You can have it!"
You sit down with your boss for your annual review. Despite mostly positive feedback, a single criticism lodges in your head and leaves you feeling lousy all week long. Sound familiar?
updated: Mon Feb 27 2012 10:22:00
The doctor and self-help author has some controversial views on the medical profession.
Challenges are part of everyone's life, but there are dark moments when a challenge turns into a crisis. The outcome of our lives depends on the choices we make at those moments.
Entranced by true love's dazzling combination of hormones and ignorance, we may commit to sharing a home with our beloved before we've thought through the consequences.
When it comes to quality shut-eye, research has shown that women are the sleepless sex. They tend to have a harder time falling asleep than men and are more easily startled or jostled awake. Despite this, more women than men claim they're loath to give up spending the night at their partner's side. Here are the most common co-sleeping issues women have, and how to solve them.
I was in a terrible hurry, running late for a business meeting in Philadelphia. I'd spent more than $100 for my train ticket from a vending machine at New York's Penn Station -- but in my haste had grabbed only the receipt, which I now presented to the conductor.
After another endless fight, breaking up may feel like the only way out of this mess. But here are a few things to consider before calling it quits -- ask yourself these four questions first.
Like most of us, you've probably heard of graphic novels -- but haven't read too many. Here are four new titles (plus one classic) that make you think, feel and daydream just like any other book.
Switching shampoos often? Shivering through a cold rinse? It's time to rethink your routines.
It's your favorite night of the month (except when one member doesn't like the novel or forgets to bring the pita chips she signed up for). Here's how to keep everyone happy.
A calendar full of holiday parties, last-minute shopping and a house brimming with guests can leave you looking less than refreshed. Try these makeup tips for an instant pick-me-up.
The day after Thanksgiving, our bellies full of all the turkey, stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce two slices of toasted bread can hold, I turn to my husband, Dan, lying in bed, the newspaper halfheartedly dangling from his hands. "What are we going to do about those %$#*&-ing Christmas cookies?" I ask. Dan groans. If I had any mercy for my husband, I wouldn't let this question linger in the air. But I let it hang there because, as crazy-making as they are to bake, these cookies remind me of six crucial things about the holidays:
Most Ambitious Book of 2011: The Tiger's Wife
Dreaming in Chinese: Mandarin Lessons in Life, Love, and Language
Her Passion: The world looks different in the company of Kim Soerensen -- specifically, it's mounted on a pedestal, in an array of colors, sizes, and materials. Over nine years, Soerensen has acquired thousands of unique globes. Some have textured mountains; some illustrate ocean currents in fine detail. Some are faded with age--and many depict national borders long since dissolved.
First things first. What procedures have you had?
Are you looking forward to the season ahead? With Shivers of anticipation? Or just shivers? Robin Monheit gathered O's best gift buying advice and got even more tips from style experts Jesse Garza and Joe Lupo, authors of Life in Color (Chronicle).
Find time for yourself this holiday season to settle in with one of these five recommended reads.
How often have you gotten a compliment on your creativity or your patience or your resilience, only to wave it off, assuming that these strengths must come easily to everyone? In my 30 years as a lifestyle/career coach and author, the mistake I see people make time and again is failing to recognize their talents. An honest inventory may be difficult -- even impossible -- for you to do yourself. So sit with a friend and try this exercise. It's a new twist on something I call the Self-Correcting Life Scenario, and it's one of my favorites.
Get in the spirit of fall entertaining. Here are a few things we think are just great for autumnal get togethers.
1. Take notes. Never stop taking notes. Never say, "I don't have a pen or a notebook." Never ever say, "I remember more when I concentrate on listening instead of note-taking."
1. Think about what your intentions are for your book club. Before you start looking for prospective members, sit down for a few minutes and ask yourself the following questions.
In the early 1990s, Margaret Gordon, a housekeeper and single mom in gritty West Oakland, California, was cleaning the home of eco-activist Michael Herz -- founder of the nonprofit San Francisco Baykeeper -- when she stumbled upon a stack of environmental magazines. Curious, Gordon asked to borrow a few, and was soon devouring articles about pollution and its adverse effects on health. Gordon had always assumed the green movement was about "kissing birds and saving whales," but the more she learned, the more she realized it was about protecting human beings, too.
Never mind that Susan Orlean took an obscure story of flowers and turned it into the masterful 1998 best-seller "The Orchid Thief" (and was then played by Meryl Streep in the movie version, "Adaptation"). When Orlean told people she was planning to write a biography of Rin Tin Tin, the German shepherd portrayed in movies and on TV, even her friends were puzzled. "Whaaat?" many of them said. Sara Nelson talked with Orlean about how and why she spent eight years on the trail of one of the world's most famous canines.
When Chicagoan Tammy Jo Long visited Savannah, Georgia, ten years ago, she was delighted by its fountain-filled parks, corner cafés -- and grand architecture.
Finding a partner in crime when it comes to navigating your love life can be challenging.
I remember it like this: It's January 2009 and our infant son is sleeping. We are sitting in our rented apartment in Los Angeles, one of the most expensive cities in America, where we had dreams of "making it" in Hollywood. My husband, Dan, a photographer, is out of work; every freelance job he had lined up through May has suddenly been canceled. We are in economic free fall. I turn to Dan and say, "I just want you to fix this."
A few days ago, I found a photo that was taken ten years ago now, of me at 43 sitting on my new horse (then 14). I look a little disheveled but happy; he looks thin, you might even say emaciated, with very little tail and several scars where other horses had taken pieces out of his hide.
I grew up with a Barbie doll. Not a toy -- a mother. She was a model, raven-haired, green-eyed, statuesque, with unrealistically perfect proportions, but there they were. Like the doll, my mother had an extensive wardrobe; Mom's even included a couple of mother-daughter outfits.
Many years ago I had a blind date in a mediocre Chinese restaurant with a dour tax attorney with whom I was hopelessly mismatched. There seemed no possibility of common ground until he proudly informed me he was an officer of some organization of mycologists. Perhaps whatever passion there was in this man lay in mushrooms rather than law or human relationships.
A recent British study found that the longer couples are married, the less they have to say to each other over the course of an hour-long meal.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a gainfully employed, God-fearing, law-abiding citizen, and I come in peace. I don't bet on baseball, I take excellent care of my gums, I keep my tray table locked and upright from takeoff to landing.
I think it was a famous city planner who said that if you build a statue or a sculpture or some similar object and put it on the sidewalk, you will often find several people looking at it and talking to each other about it, even if they don't know each other.
My timing stinks!" my friend Jackie moaned. "I always do the right thing at the wrong time."
I know money is tight. I know you're busy. And I know tackling money issues isn't fun. But here's what I also know: You wish you could once and for all get your financial house in order.
When sleep won't come, the nights are lonely, long, and way too quiet.
A story is always better if you have someone to share it with. What could be better than sharing it with a group of friends who have read it too? Starting your own book club is an endeavor that we applaud! And we've made it easy to do with these tips and resources.
There are many practices from biblical times that are best left in the past. Stoning adulterers comes to mind. As does sacrificing oxen.
"O, The Oprah Magazine," asked some of our favorite authors which books they plan to give this season, and which they'd most love to get.
These are the books that gave us comfort, joy -- and lots to talk about.
Every family has its own set of holiday traditions. Some spend the day opening gifts and stuffing themselves with turkey, while others volunteer at soups kitchens, sing in the church choir or take in a movie.
I saw Michael Bernard Beckwith perform a re-commitment ceremony for a married couple a few years back and it blew me away. He looked at the husband and said, "Your job is to be her biggest fan and her greatest critic for the purpose of her spiritual development." He then turned to the wife and said the same thing to her about him.
It wasn't that I couldn't write. I wrote every day.
Having a good relationship with your therapist is priceless, which is why author Susan Shapiro says she lost it when her therapist "abandoned" her by moving away and she was left alone to work through her issues.
There are friends that you have polite chats with, and there are your best friends. They're the people who root for you, no matter what. You tell them your deepest, darkest secrets, and instead of heading for the door, they stick around and your bond with them grows stronger.
Lots of folks have Sunday morning rituals -- church, pancakes, watching football. I turn to the wedding pages.
Rudeness isn't contagious -- but we all may be carrying the virus. Has rudeness become a chronic condition?
Big buzz surrounds the Seinfeld not-a-reunion on "Curb Your Enthusiasm"; eager crowds gather in Manhattan as "Sex and the Cit" films its second movie; and "Friends," of course, remains sacredly syndicated.
Huge, scary numbers are lurking everywhere these days: The massive federal bailout (now on the taxpayers' tab)...the unemployment rate, which is now at a 26-year high...that daunting sum you are constantly told you will need if you want to retire comfortably...the six-figure mortgage balance you barely chip away at each month.
One hundred cups of coffee with 100 men.
Stop -- don't pull out that credit card until you take our experts' good-buy test! If you can answer yes to most of these questions, go ahead and make a guilt-free purchase.
We are creatures of habit; we love a good routine because doing the same old same old doesn't take much mental effort. But getting stuck in certain ways of thinking can hinder our ability to both enjoy and respond effectively to new situations. Like a body, the mind needs regular stretching to stay agile and resilient.
After months of cutting back or even eliminating your impulse clothes shopping, there are times when you feel you must make a purchase: You think you don't have the right outfit for an important job interview, a weekend hiking trip or a hot date.
In high school I was voted "biggest flirt." (Look at me! Value me!)
It's a sunny, Sunday California morning. My husband is driving my mother, father, and two of our four children to church.
Your sweetheart calls you by another's name. His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches.
Men may rule the roost in AMC's hit drama "Mad Men," but behind the guys are a group of women whose lives shape the award-winning story.
Alas, our romance with shopping seems to be coming to an end -- or at least it's up for careful reevaluation.
My mother is fond of telling me I'm overthinking it -- "it" being anything from the virtues of organic mulch for my flower beds to which booster seats to buy for my daughters -- so you can imagine how she feels about my religious ambivalence.
In money, and in life, you are very often your own worst enemy. You promise yourself you're going to diet, then eat not one or two french fries but a whole plate. You decide to really commit to saving for retirement, only to wind up with a new pair of shoes in your closet.
Last summer, in the low-tide shallows of Cape Cod, my young son and his best friend hummed a sea snail out of its shell. It's a trick they'd learned from a visiting marine biologist at their school: The children held the shell up to their peachy, softly droning faces and the snail craned its shy neck out to listen. The snail stretched up its tentative little horns and the children smiled back.
Personally, I like my pizza deliveryman to do one thing: bring me my dinner. But mention this guy to a group of women, and, while most of us will think of cheesy pies with tomato sauce, a good number of us will conjure up that hilariously bad porn cliché, the randy fellow who's always ready to accept sex in exchange for a medium sausage and mushroom.
It's four days into your vacation and you still haven't been able to let go: You're fretting about your end-of-month reports, answering e-mails from coworkers, and now your boss wants to know if she can conference you in on a call tomorrow.
The closest I ever came to finding out what it would be like to have gigantic breasts was when I met the producer of a documentary film celebrating women with gappy teeth.
The more science learns about how men are different from us (right down to the structure of their brains), the more we find ourselves hoping it will finally explain some age-old mysteries. For instance:
I just finished reading "Love, Loss, and What I Wore" for the 219th time. It's a quirky little autobiography in which the utterly charming Ilene Beckerman recalls her life's defining moments through the wardrobe choices she's made -- from Brownie uniform to bridal veil.
Let me admit it. There was a time, not so long ago, when I thought self-help books were for ninnies.
Manhattan's wealthier citizens had decamped for their summer homes, leaving the rest of us with room to breathe and stroll and enjoy summer in the greatest city in the world.
One winter, in the middle of a particularly painful breakup, I wished I were religious. Raised in a family of scientists who consider religion to be, at best, a comforting illusion, I saw my longing as a weakness.
Shortly after World War II, executives at Japan's Toyota Motor Company made a decision from which, I believe, we all can benefit. They decided to make cars the way they'd make, say, sushi.
The recession has millions of consumers spending less, saving more and paying off debt. The fact that we are adjusting to the reality of this economy is good news, to be sure. There are items in any budget that can be scaled back easily.
I'm writing this in the African bush, where I've just watched five lions dismantling a dead buffalo, a hungry leopard stalking impala, and several baboons snitching part of my own breakfast when my back was turned.
There's a moment when a friendship is deepening that a face changes before your eyes. It feels like a kind of shimmer, as if a veil has dropped away, and you can suddenly see the face behind the face of the person you're getting to know.
No matter how old you are, talking about saving for retirement always brings these questions: How much will I need? Where should I invest my money? How can I make sure it lasts as long as I do?
My habits weren't horrible, but they weren't great, either. No sodas, fast food, or cigarettes, and I ate my share of broccoli...but I also liked heavy cream in my coffee, butter with dinner, and fortifying spoonfuls of ice cream when afternoon hunger hit.
A man from Vermont got into the habit of leaving his wife little notes. Nothing elaborate -- just sweet sentiments like "I love you" or "I can't wait to get home to you tonight," jotted down on Post-it notes and then hidden in places where he knew she'd stumble over them throughout the course of her day.
Here's a little fact of life that took me by surprise: Roughly 23 million women in this country are 40 to 49 years of age and about 6,000 of us turn 50 every single day.
Dr. Joann Manson, author of Hot Flashes, Hormones, and Your Health, suggests asking yourself three questions before going to the doctor.
Unlike Thanksgiving, which I approach with the kind of resignation a Sherpa must feel setting out on his umpteenth ascent of Everest, Christmas gives me culinary wanderlust, a desire to go places I've never been, try recipes and piece together menus no sane woman should dare.
It's naptime in the manger. The rosy porcelain baby is sleeping quietly beside his mother, who dozes on her back on the barn floor, despite her permanent bent-kneed posture and a broken-off right hand.
This time of year, it's inevitable. Friends and family will be stopping by or -- worse -- staying over. Yes, I know you're supposed to feel jolly about welcoming in every relative looking for a bit of holiday cheer, but, if you're like me, you're more likely to experience some confusion, faintness, even a little nausea.
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