It is unclear why -- or even if -- men had tear ducts prior to 1971, for none had ever wept in public, though Walter Cronkite famously came close, removing his glasses in 1963 to announce the death of President Kennedy.
Lately, Lifetime has been looking a little different.
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His widow sold the final photograph of his life to The Globe, a supermarket rag that specializes in stories like BOOZE REHAB FOR SUICIDAL FERGIE! and BETTY WHITE SNUBBED DYING RUE! The image -- plastered across this week's cover, naturally -- shows Gary Coleman in a Utah hospital bed, tubes emerging from his nose, his head wrapped in bandages.